Self-Esteem goes with a Positive Attitude

When Eleanor Roosevelt stated, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent," she hit the very essence of self-esteem.

 Self-Esteem is your image of yourself.

If you let others put you down, or believe others when they say things about you, then let it manifest into a negative feeling about yourself, you are allowing yourself to be governed by other people and what they believe to be true about you, or that you have allowed yourself to prove that you are what they think.

 The power within you is astounding. You just need to tap into changing your attitude when you catch yourself being negative.

You can't control the thoughts that pop into your head, but you sure in the heck can control what you do about those thoughts.

 “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” Ed Cunningham

What kind of friend are you?

  A friend is someone with whom you are comfortable, who you enjoy spending time with and who is loyal to you and whom you can be loyal to.

You trust them with your confidences, you can tell them your deepest darkest secrets and share your dreams and goals. You feel safe that your friend will not judge you.

 When you choose a friend it is like looking into the mirror. Who you hang out with does reflect on who you are.

Think of your best friend and list some qualities.

  Do you forgive your friend for things on the above list even though you don't like that characteristic in your friend? Do you accept your friend the way he/she is or do your keep trying to mold him/her to what you want in a friend?

Now, choose some qualities that you have as a best friend from the list above.

  The art of friendship is a simple thing. “You do unto your friend as you wish them to do unto you.” It's the Golden Rule. It is taught in all belief systems one way or another, and it is a good rule.

If you don't want to be judged, you don't judge. If you don't want anger and upset in your life, you don't allow unhealthy ways of showing anger in your environment. If you want companionship and to do things that you like to do, you want a friend who respects that as well.

 If you break promises to your friend, then your friend won't trust you when you make a promise.

You don't like it when promises are broken to you, do you?

  You stay loyal to your friend and best of all you keep that trust and communication open between the two of you.

If your friend is in need of you, your phone lines are open to him/her no matter what time it is. That is what a friend is for. Of course you would expect that your friend would be there for you as well.

 If your friend had an annoying habit of a nervous laugh, you would forgive them, wouldn’t you? If he/she smoked and you didn't, you would still be a friend.

If your friend did something that you did not feel is right, you would forgive them, would you not? If you cannot forgive them then there is truly no real friendship.

 So, why not forgive yourself for your own screw-ups?

Why is it that most people are harder on themselves than anyone else? If my best friend is thirty pounds overweight, the only thing I think about is her health. I do not condemn her for eating that extra cookie, or not walking some of that weight off. My friend is my friend and I love my friends as they are.

 When you berate yourself and put yourself down, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Yes, make realistic goals to improve what you want to improve, and give yourself pep talks, but for goodness sakes, don’t punish yourself.

 Let's think about this next statement:

Before you can be someone else's best friend, you need to make yourself your own best friend. 

From Conditioning to Comfort Zones

  A comfort zone is the area in your life that you have habitually been doing for so long it is part of you life, like your grandpa’s favorite chair. It is in knowing how staying inside your comfort zone can keep you from your dreams, goals, and how it can stop you from doing anything that is not comfortable to you.

Sometimes your comfort zone is not a healthy place to be. When you are constantly in your comfort zone and never step out of it, you don’t get much further in life than you already are.

An example: You might not like the thought of dancing, in fact, the very idea of dancing and getting out in front of people wiggling to music might terrorize you. Therefore, why dance?

 What could happen if you made a fool of yourself in front of others? Would you be mortified? Would you have an anxiety attack, or, can you shrug it off and go on with your life?

You might envy how some people can get up in front of people and give a wonderful speech, however, the idea of doing it yourself is something you don’t want to consider. You might see a fancy car that you would die for, however,

 would you die for it, or do you just dream about that fancy car, and deep down know that unless you won a lottery, or some rich person left you money on their death bed, you would never have a car like that?

What if I told you, you could have that dream car? Would you laugh to yourself, and say, "She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know what a rut I am in, how many bills I have, what a lousy job I have. She is talking about lucky people, not me!"

 Knowing your comfort zone, and why it is your comfort zone is your first step in learning about how to change some of the perceptions that you have about yourself.

Those perceptions begin with the label that was put on you. People get labels put on them. It usually starts when they are small. For a few, the label was a positive one. However, for most, they were negative labels.

 Are You Living Up to the Labels that Others Have Put on You?

This may have happened to you. It may have happened to someone you love, or, you may be doing this to your own kids and not even realizing it.