Learn how to Give and Receive

“If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?” Stephen Levine

Accepting and Giving Compliments

Do you love compliments, or do you get uncomfortable when you get them? Do you immediately deny the compliment? 

“Gee, that dress looks good on you.”

  “Oh, this old rag.”   

“I really like that poem your wrote.” 

“ Really, do you think I should change any of it?”

When a person gives you a compliment. A simple thank you is in order.

“You look great in blue, it really brings out your eyes.” 

“Thank you.” 

“I love that dressing you put on the salad.” 

“Thank you. My grandmother taught me how to make that.” 

See, how truly easy that is. It’s simple. 

Do you take time to give compliments? 

The next time you see something you like, don’t just think it. Say it! 

Think about the people in your life that readily give compliments. Think about deep down how it makes you feel good (when you are not in denial toward the compliment). Think about how when someone notices and remarks on how well you are doing at your job, how well you did on a test, or how great you made a dinner.

Don’t withhold compliments. When you think them, tell the person. If it is not normal for you to think good things about others do stop and look. Is there something that you can honestly say that is positive to another person? Say it. It doesn’t bite back. It might feel unnatural at first, but after a few trials, you will see that sparkle in someone’s eyes. You will see your friends, and your children strive to do better for you. All because of a simple few words that you took the time to say something complimentary. 

How about giving and receiving? Is it hard for you to accept a gift? 

Do you say, “Oh, you shouldn’t have?” 

How about, “Thank you. This is perfect, how very thoughtful of you to think of me.” 

Most people love to give. It makes them feel good to give. To chastise them for giving, even when you are doing it out of habit is like throwing cold water into someone’s face. 

Be gracious, enjoy being cared about, and accept the gift. Life is good! 

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How about the “buts” in life? You did a good job, but…… Your hair looks nice, but……. I like that color, but…… 

“Buts,” can make people cringe at what is coming next and totally wipe out the compliment that you just gave. 

You can use “but” when the criticism is constructive. How can you tell if your criticism is constructive or destructive? It’s easy. If you cannot help or are not willing to help with the solution, then it is not constructive criticism. 

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.”