Impossible High Standards of Excellence.

Maybe your standard of excellence was put way up on the scale, and no one can live up to what you expect of yourself - not even you. This also can make a person miserable. Are you one with such a high standard of excellence that you are unhappy because you can’t find anyone who has your standards, or that you are so exhausted trying to keep your standard up, that you can’t relax at all?

Relax, you are not alone, there are many people who have very High Standards of Excellence, and even accept that others are not up to their standards, yet still push themselves beyond what is “normal.” 

My mother-in-law, years ago came over from England. I knew she was coming, so I made sure the house was ready and that spare room had clean sheets and fresh smelling towels, and that she had everything that she would need to be comfortable. 

I woke up at 6 o’clock in the morning and found her vacuuming under my couch cushions. 

This surprised me, but did not upset me. I figured she had time on her hands and did not like to sit still, or she was being helpful. Personally, if someone wants to come to Amy house and clean under things and behind things, it is fine with me. 

But, truthfully, I think she had a higher standard of excellence on house cleaning than I did, and therefore, she was bringing my house up to her standards. 

Let’s talk some more on Standard of Excellence just to give you some ideas of how vast of a subject this is: 

Do you belch at the table? How are your table manners? 

Is it acceptable to pass gas in front of your spouse or your children? 

Do you put your feet on the furniture? What do your shoes look like? 

Would you lie for your friend, when you did not approve of what your friend did. If you saw a watch at a restaurant, would you take it or turn it in? 

Would you cheat on your spouse, and if you did, would you confess? 

Would you have sex with a stranger? Do you try to be places on time, or let it slide? 

Are you a good host/hostess? Are you warm and friendly to your company? 

If you are male, do you open the door for women or stand up when they walk into the room. Do you take your hat off when inside a building? 

Are you a snob, and too good to be with the lower class in your eyes? 

Do you choose friends that have the same or close to the same values? 

Do you smoke? If you do, do you throw your butts on the ground? 

Do you litter?   

Do you pick things up when you see them on the ground? 

Do you pay back money that you borrow in a timely manner? 

Were you raised to be prejudice and have you changed? 

Do you make snap judgments and then seldom change them? 

Are you loyal to your friends? 

Do you hang out with people who cannot help you financially? 

If you are female, do you wait until the door is opened for you?

 Do you work at your relationships or just give up easily? 

Are you worth what you are being paid at your job? 

Are you worth more, but don’t ask for a raise? 

Do you visit people and lift up their couch cushions? ☺ 

Would you hire you? Do you plop when you sit? 

If you want to be successful, are you dressing as a successful person dresses?

 As you can see, I could fill up a whole book with questions. You need to create your own Standard of Excellence then evaluate what you can accept and what you no longer will accept. Go ahead, write that list, then prioritize what is the most important and make those changes. 

Have we talked about what “normal” really is?

It’s the value that is put on because of common usage of something. If you live in a society where you are not allowed to vote, then voting is not normal. If you live in a society where you have been raised that you can vote, then voting is normal.

If you live in a society where cannibals reside, guess what? That’s right, cannibalism is normal. 

The society that we grow up in becomes what we perceive to be “normal.” 

If you live in the South in the United States it is normal to have a southern accent. Most of the children have a southern accent, and the teachers and the colleges all have their “normal” way of speaking for the area in which they were raised. 

If you live in England it is “normal” to have a society with an English accent. 

As children, our perception can only take in our immediate surroundings, as we grow we learn more, and we absorb more, however, when we are small, normal is what we can perceive. If people eat worms, fried worms, worms sautéed to a delicate texture, or eat grasshoppers, it could be considered a delicacy, while another society may get their tummy to turn over at that thought of eating snakes, ants, and cockroaches. It’s all in how we are raised and what we were taught and have accepted as normal. 

Children learn what to eat from their parents. I remember a girlfriend of mine. 

She was feeding her baby daughter canned baby style green peas. 

While she fed the baby, she grimaced and tried to get the baby to eat the peas.     

It was very funny to see. This baby would not eat those peas, and I thought if someone tried to put food in my mouth and was making gagging faces, I don’t think I would want to eat it either. Have you had your fried worms today?

Again, it is all in how we perceive things as we grow. 

Now take a few moments and write down some qualities and things that you would like to change that will improve the quality of your life and the way that you feel about yourself? 

This will now bring us to Ethics and Your Road to Happiness.